Ad review: she’s going to need back surgery

Without fail, when I see ASA’s impossibly busty super-woman (below), I can’t help but linger. I suppose it’s natural for men (especially) to be drawn toward imagery of curvy women, but I don’t think that’s the case here. Notice how completely sexless this ad is. In fact, of all the Photoshopping of women’s breasts in advertising today, this may be the first and only ad that I have noticed where the subjects chest was enlarged for reasons having nothing to do with sexiness.

In the case of this woman, it appears the designers have inflated her boobs to a dangerous level of personal imbalance simply to fit their logo completely on her chest – a la Superman. What’s sad (or funny, or both?) is that this plays on our ready assumption that women can have boobs of any magnitude without seeming cartoonish. Designers can fudge breasts and hips more than a bit because we see the results of this distortion constantly and never blink twice at excessively-shopped hyper-beauties on magazine covers. So here the designers asked why not expand some breasts for utilitarian purposes? This isn’t uncommon for most body parts (e.g. crafting noses, adjusting eyebrows, removing wrinkles, shrinking feet, etc), but we often take breasts to absurd sizes (as with the ASA lady) and never think, “Holy shit, that looks painful!” Delete some crow’s feet or straighten out some bunioned toes and we know it’s fake, but not to the point of great unhealth.

Photoshop strangeness

Epilogue: Why is she flying at you? Are you a villain? Then why is she smiling? Is she rescuing you? Perhaps. Let’s go with that. She’s saving you from ignorance. That’s her special power: she shoots trade-college education from her fists.

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