Twitter Plays, part CVIII

NOTE: Because of ongoing difficulties with the NY Neo-Futurist blog software, we’re posting this weeks’ Twitterplays here on @happierman’s website. Sorry for the delay. And now…

It’s Twitter Plays CVIII! This week’s assignment was to write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a CASTLE.

Here are your plays, starting with @sgnp‘s emotionally complex history with Nintendo.

Mario: Another castle? This is complete bullshit! Princess: Gotcha! I’m here! Mario: (Crying) Did you EVER consider my feelings?

BObama-You could argue that we live in a castle, right? MObama-Yes. BO-Then why can’t I get a damn tiny cheeseburger?

1Prepare the castle defenses! 1But they’ve been told we’re hosting a Justin Bieber concert! 2Then may God save us all

Crazed king kills and eats kids minus one daughter. Knight (conflicted friend) must avenge, kills king & marries princess.

@10000TH :
Qn: It’s cold in the Castle. Kg: Not exactly Heaven. Qn: Shh, it’s unbecoming for the King to grouse. Kg: Pish Posh.

1: Dude! 2: Dude!!! 1: Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!!! (slow pan over to see a hot girl working the register at White Castle).

(mario & toad in lvl 5 castle) T: TY M! but r pcess is in another castle! M: eff it, toad. eff it.

King: I’M the king of the castle! Queen: I know, I know & I’m the dirty rascal. Shaddup already.

2 from @tonyfaulkner:
TIME TRAVELER: Baron, Nazis will take over your castle in the future! BARON WOLFENSTEIN: I must hide the Liefbraumilch!
Soldier 1: Where is the rest of the castle? Soldier 2: Just keep an eye out for their queen. S1: DUCK! [Giant hand grabs from above]

2 from @CDKWDC:
Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: I had it cut into a short bob yesterday. Do you like it? Prince: No. I’m outta here.
Male #1: Romeo, Romeo. Where for art thou, Romeo? | Male #2: Aren’t you reading the wrong part? | Male #1: Am I? (wink) |

(Enter A & B, in front of lumpy orange wall) A: What do you think of my castle made entirely of cheese? B: It stinks!

ARMY: Charge! *rushes into castle CASTLE: Yes! Oh god, yes! Siege me, you filthy army- A: Get the trebuchet! C: Yes! Mmm, sex toys..

“I’ve scaled that blasted wall, killed your odious king, and now you want me to carry you over the moat? Forget it!”

Henry? Elizabeth? William? Edward? Mary? James? Anne? George? Victoria? Charles? Oliver? Anyone? (listens) I’m home!

[A lord sits on edge of bed, watches sunrise thru castle window. Knows no matter how true he is, history will vilify his kind. Sighs.]

And that… is our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.




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